Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
