I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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