are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
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I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
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He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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