My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
