we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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