i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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