"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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