Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
