Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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