I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
