I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
