if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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