Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm really busy with my period
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