That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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