I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
