you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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