I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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