why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
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2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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