Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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