your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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