one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i think i have herpe
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me