apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
