Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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