but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
