College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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