i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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