If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
How external is "for external use only"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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