i just wanna soil my oats bro
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Are we still banned from the library?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
