The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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