I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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