we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
