Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
