I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
