You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
