TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
