Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
