my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
