If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
