That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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