I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
