piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
