I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
