He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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