just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
