i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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