Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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