Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
