told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
