i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
