My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
