Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
