at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
