the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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