My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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